The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain

So, I had a gleecap all written up, and then my computer decided to reboot while I slept and it was lost. That's what I get for writing everything that isn't a research paper in Notepad (I really do. It's only in the last three months or so that I've started writing poetry in Word first).
I'm not even gonna pretend I'm redoing it for you guys. I have an endless need for attention, and a burning desire to prattle on forever, so I'ma rewrite it. ATTENTION ME.

Prom Queen

  • Oh, prom. Fun fact: I did not go to my prom. I knew a good five years earlier that I would not be going to my prom. So all of this "ZOMG PROM" frippery seems odd to me.
  • Oh, Jacob. Why do you still exist?
  • "A combination of intimidation, and fear." Oh, my.
  • Of course, because it's important to keep traditional gender power dynamics in place at all time in relationships.
  • "Positively horny with grief." D:
  • Wait, they're juniors? Okay, (1) how the hell are they all juniors. Finn and Quinn were presumably "ruling the school" last year, which would have made them sophomores. I can maybe buy that the superstar quarterback might be a sophomore, or that the head cheerleader might be, because they are just SO talented, but both? Really? Where were the upperclassmen? Are they ALL juniors, or just most of them? Also, (2) it's JUNIOR PROM. Which means it is even LESS important than I first thought. Seriously, who gets riled up about JUNIOR prom?
  • Air Supply. AIR SUPPLY. I <3 Figgins.
  • Will, are you still on that stupid taffy plan? Didn't you give away all the taffy at the Night of Neglect? Aren't you kind of in the red where taffy is concerned?
  • "... the punchbowl my grandmother drowned in." D:
  • "I have in my Spanx at all times a list of the worst songs ever performed by the glee club." I...
  • "Number 1: 'Run, Joey, Run.' You should literally apologize to America for that one." Yes. Yes, you should. Though how does Sue know about that? It was a weekly assignment. In theory, no one outside of Glee club, the A.V. kids, and Jesse knew about that horror.
  • Lauren, have you not heard of Torrid? It would totally be just your style. You know, considering that I'm pretty sure the wardrobe department has been getting a significant portion of your (and Mercedes') clothing from there.
  • "Prom is like our Oscars, it's seriously like the most important night of our lives." What. I just. What. JUNIOR prom. Honestly.
  • "You can get married as many times as you want; you only have one shot at your junior prom." Quinn, I don't even. JUNIOR PROM.
  • "Let's do 'Run, Joey, Run.'" And everyone in glee club gives her the stink-eye. As well they should.
  • "Then all your dates are gonna ignore you and come dance with me, so, your dates are really my dates." Rock on, Brit-Brit.
  • Oh, Mercedes. I can sympathize.
  • "That's even more depressing." Not going with your friends. Going with Rachel, specifically.
  • Did Kurt just call Blaine "Blaine Warbler"? Because according to IMDB, his last name is Anderson.
  • So, Kurt's a junior too. And I think it's established that Blaine is, as well, and oh my GOD is Kurt seriously wearing a camo shirt and a wee little camo bow tie oh good god Kurt really.
  • Oh, Blaine. Oh. D:
  • Thank goodness Kurt at least offered him the option of saying no. Though it was pretty obvious he REALLY wanted Blaine to say 'yes'.
  • "My birthday was last week." "It was?" Oh, Sam.
  • "Like a three-way date, but not the dirty kind." "That sounds great." Sam, she said NOT the dirty kind.
  • I am pleased that Sam gets to go to the ridiculous prom. Yay, no one is left out.
  • "Because getting a look past him is like getting a thumbs-up from Joan and Melissa Rivers." I approve of Kurt being the Rivers of McKinley.
  • Oh, Lauren, no; that dress is the ugly cousin of Belle's from Beauty and the Beast. The ugly, inbred cousin.
  • "I think you look delicious." Thank you, Brit-Brit.
  • "Nobody bigger than a size 2 looks good in a prom dress." So... no matter what she wears, it's going to be crap? Come on, Kurt.
  • "I have no criticisms. Go with god, Satan--Santana." Hee.
  • I... I would really love to see more about this prom anti-king/queen deal. It is a concept I can get behind.
  • Oh god, Sue's mesmerized face! HAH! Also, I actually snorted when Puck said "love dance."
  • "My ASSistant bad-ASS?" Say "ass" again, Puck. Do it.
  • HAH! I knew it! There ARE kids perpetually chilling in the auditorium, painting things and purposely ignoring the glee kids! It's the... A/V club. Which is kind of weird, since I thought their domain was tech stuff. The painting should be more the drama kids' deal. Though we don't get to see much of the drama kids, as there'd likely be overlap with glee club and things would get complicated.
  • I love this song, but I don't think it suits Lea Michele's voice. Also, this would be a crappy prom song; it's unromantic and has an awkward beat for dancing.
  • Jonathan Groff's voice suits this much better. Also, jaunty scarf!
  • I like that Jesse's presence so startles the A/V kids that they begin to sing backup. I think it's his hair.
  • Not a fan of this arrangement, overall. If they release a version that's just Jonathan Groff, I will like that better, but I prefer the song with background music.
  • Rachel's dress is really cute, and she doesn't look quite so much like she needs 30 veggie burgers (not cheeseburgers, as she is vegan) anymore, which delights me. Her collarbones were kind of terrifying for a while.
  • "How was I supposed to know that I was actually supposed to show up to those other classes at school?" The best part is, I actually believe Jesse is this dumb.
  • "For a first, maybe, but for a fourth, no way." Man's got his priorities right.
  • Finn, your shirt is stupid. It looks like someone stuck a marathon number on your back.
  • "Even though I'm dying every day inside about it." Way to passive-aggressively take a stab at your ex, Rachel.
  • "Where's the dignity?" Finn, you strode through the halls in your boxers, ran a kissing booth, and dressed as Justin Beiber. You don't get to bitch about dignity.
  • Rachel giving Finn corsage advice is sad and sweet.
  • The Bullywhip berets always make me giggle.
  • "I'm walking away from you now." Run, Kurt. RUN.
  • In Brittany's defense, eggs are really confusing.
  • I love how delighted Kurt is by the promposal.
  • "I thought this song was about a baby." Hah.
  • Awwwww, Brittany being embarrassed and flattered by the serenade is adorable. As are the cooking implements as instruments.
  • Sam putting his head on the Home Ec teacher's shoulder! <3 She seems to be won over, at least.
  • Aww. Can't blame Brittany. But aww. And good on Artie for not pouting about it and remaining apologetic. He knows he fucked up.
  • "I've got nothing to live for." Really, Artie. Really.
  • I love Burt recalling what he wore to prom. You can tell he knows he was a huge badass.
  • "Was that a designer?" "No." hee.
  • Blaine's face! It's somewhere between "Kurt you are so very adorable" and "this could end badly."
  • "That's awesome! It's like, gay Braveheart!" HAH. Well played. Supportive Brother Finn is the best Finn.
  • Man. On one hand, I can see their argument--Kurt and Blaine have, to some degree, the option of 'passing' as straight dudes who happen to be, say, walking into the gym together. Kurt puts on the kilt, and there is no hiding that he, at least, is too fabulous for Lima to handle. On the other hand, it is NOT their responsibility to make other people not hurt them. It just isn't.
  • I always forget how tall Chris Colfer is. Did he have a growth spurt somewhere in the first season or immediately after? I recall him being smaller in the early episodes.
  • Goddammit, like Kurt, I found it so much easier to hate Karofsky when he was an asshole and a bully. But this apology--and the fact that it's made in public, unprompted, rendering him extremely vulnerable-- seems genuine. Max Adler does a great job with this scene, and the tears in his eyes + the tears in Chris Colfer's make it just heartbreaking. He's so terrified and he clearly feels trapped... and while I can't say I like the character, I don't think I can bring myself to hate him. And I do pity him.
  • Quinn looks like Cinderella!
  • "You really get to know your way around a cummerbund." Hee.
  • Hee, Quinn's mom agrees with me.
  • How the hell did Mercedes find that dress for $5? I mean, she's smaller than Lauren, but she's still plus-sized, and the pickings are slim even outside Goodwill.
  • Oh god, no one can look Sam in the eye when he mentions the bolo tie. That is because there is never an excuse for a bolo tie, Sam. Take it from the native Texan. I KNOW.
  • "I don't know why, or even what a recession is..." ....
  • "I can't believe he flunked out of college!" Sam and Mercedes just made the same expression I did.
  • Finn, don't start shit. Seriously. No.
  • Oh god, I was warned about this song. I knew it was coming. And yet. And yet. *sob*
  • Artie's tux is great, but his hair is making me laugh in a way that is more "at him" than "with him."
  • Puck, this song canNOT be helping that reputation you were so worried about.
  • Hahaha, Santana's response to another girl in her dress. A sort of "No. No. This is not happening. NOT HAPPENING LA LA LA."
  • Whoa, Brit-Brit! Down, girl! First off, Tina will cut you, secondly, Mike appears slightly traumatized by your antics.
  • Sigh. I must admit, I prefer 'Friday' as sung by the Glee boys over the Rebecca Black version any day. Though really, show, first the Beiber episode, now this? Honestly. :[
  • Bedazzled mic!
  • Rachel, this is the worst prom song. It is anti-romantic and painfully slow. You're seriously going to pick a terrible song just so you can bleat at Finn while he dances with someone else? Ugh. Of course you are. Booo.
  • Is that kid wearing a Bluetooth headset? What?
  • I am not a fan of Rachel's dress. Mercedes was able to find something bright and fashionable for $5, how could someone Rachel's size not manage it?
  • Yay, Becky has a date! They are adorable.
  • Brittany is slow-dancing with a girl! You go, Brit-Brit.
  • Awwwwww, Sam. Honestly, I have no idea whether Rachel told him what Mercedes wanted, or if he did it of his own volition (Sam is sweet enough that I would believe it from him). But either way. Awwww.
  • Oh god, her DENTAL KIT.
  • "No it isn't, who's your dentist?" "Sue Sylvester. D.D.S." That is horrifying on so very many levels. D:
  • Really, they can still go to Nationals without Puck; they have enough people. Though I guess it might lower morale. And there's a tiny risk of Lauren not going if Puck doesn't, maybe? Eh.
  • "You are the worst P.O.W. ever. John McCain is rolling over in his grave!" Hah!
  • ramaxela pointed out, quite rightly, that no one mugs for the camera like Darren Criss. I love his flailing and his manic energy.
  • Things I also love: Brittany's tiny hat headband, and what little I can see of Tina's outfit.
  • Things I love slightly less: Lauren's dress; it looks very Mother of the Bride-ish. This is a common problem with plus sized formal wear, but still. Mercedes got a cool dress. :(
  • The more I see them, the more I really like Mercedes and Sam together. She seems like she could laugh at his dorkiness without disrespecting him.
  • This is seriously the worst trash-talking ever.
  • Sugar Ray and Marvelous Marvin. Sugar Ray and Marvelous Marvin.
  • "You suck so bad Quinn Fabray I won!" Hush, Santana.
  • "Kurt Hummel." WHAT.
  • Again. WHAT. Oh god, Kurt's face.
  • Okay, the kids in the crowd just look confused. Figgins said there was an overwhelming number of write-in votes, so... who voted for him? Because they should be smirking or laughing or something. There were two or three who catcalled and one clap, but not near what one would expect from enough people to change the voting outcome. Unless it was done by just one or two people who rigged it.
  • Ohh, Kurt. Kurt, honey. I want to give him all the hugs. It'll be okay, Kurt.
  • When Blaine said it was just a stupid joke, I half-expected him to confess to rigging the ballot himself.
  • Quinn, this is not about you--WHOA, what the hell, Quinn?!
  • "Just because I hate everybody doesn't mean they have to hate me, too." Hush, Santana.
  • Really, Quinn? Transferring because you didn't win junior prom queen. Goddammit, writers, I liked her last season.
  • "As soon as we get to New York I'm bailing to live in a lesbian colony. Or Tribeca."
  • Attaboy, Kurt.
  • Of course, Rachel would be the one character who can appreciate the drama of a good slap. Well. Rachel and Jesse. God, they really are perfect for each other.
  • "Prettiest girl I've ever met." Rachel/Quinn shippers, start your engines. Though I imagine they're pretty well started, given all the time Rachel spends talking about how pretty Quinn is.
  • Good on Brittany for pointing out that they need to go support Kurt.
  • Wait, Artie had a flask of lemonade? HAHAHAHA.
  • "You are seriously no fun to interrogate or almost torture." And you know, while Sue had him in there, the punchbowl was unguarded. And Puck was roaming free. I'd wager the contents of that bowl are 180 proof by this point.
  • "Eat your heart out, Kate Middleton." Kurt you are awesome.
  • That's right. You clap. YOU ALL CLAP FOR KURT.
  • Awwww, Figgins cheering when everyone applauds! Good on him for not making a big deal about Kurt winning.
  • You know, I'm not entirely buying that this was a cruel prank, unless it turns out a few people rigged it. Too many of those kids looked confused or nervous on Kurt's behalf when his name was announced, and no one heckled when he accepted. Hell, everyone applauded. I dunno, it just seems slightly ambiguous to me, and I wish the writers had clarified it one way or another.
  • "Dancing Queen." Of course. Of course.
  • Blaine is the best rescuing Prince Charming. Awww.
  • Rachel/Mercedes/Sam's prom picture is cute, despite the fact that Sam's hair appears to have gained sentience and is attempting to smother him.
  • Awww, Brittany and Artie's prom picture! Really cute.
  • Puck and Lauren each look like they are in that picture against their will.
  • Sam's dancing! HAH!
  • Tina and Mike's picture is kind of boring. :\
  • And Quinn gets a fabulous shot of herself. Good on her.
  • I like to imagine that Sugar Ray and Marvelous Marvin continued their ridiculously stupid trash talking in the parking lot, then shoved each other until they got tired or Jesse's hair got mussed and they each flounced off in the direction of their respective homes.
  • Inasmuch as I ship anyone, I now ship Sam/Mercedes. I like it. They're both relatively sane, for glee kids.
  • Well, that's a whopping $400 towards Nationals, so far. Well done, Schuester.

    This entry was originally posted at You can comment here or there; it matters only that you comment PLEASE I NEED THE ATTENTION OH GOD PLEASE LOVE ME *SOB*.
  • Tags: glee

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