The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain
jenni_the_odd

So the first episode of Season 3 finally showed up on Hulu, and I am all over it. Let's do this thing. I have no idea what the title means, so let's just dive into "The Purple Piano Project."

  • Has their school's mascot always been the Titans? Huh. I guess I just never paid much attention.
  • Has Jacob lost a few pounds? Also, has his hairline receded further?
  • "Mediocre quarterback. Mediocre glee club lead." I'd say "poor Finn" but it's true. It's all true. :(
  • I still love Jacob's microphone.
  • Hah, Tina de-popping Mike's collar.
  • Wow, Tina is wearing a lot of color. I miss the goth.
  • Mike's hat is awesome, his shirt, less so.
  • And so it's official, Tina and Artie are juniors. Good to know.
  • "I have... plans..." Yeah, that was me in high school, too.
  • "Me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me, you~" I will never not laugh at that.
  • Hah, Kurt mugging for the camera behind Rachel. Oh, Chris Colfer. I've missed you.
  • I love Rachel and Kurt's little future-fantasy.
  • "Married by 30, LEGALLY~" Heee! <3
  • I truly believe Rachel has every last detail of her life planned out. What I do not believe is that every obsessive detail fits in that slim pink planner.
  • "Hobo McBeiber" I laughed but felt bad for it. Poor Sam. COME BACK SAM I LOVED YOU.
  • "We're gonna make beautiful cocoa babies." Allrighty then.
  • "Paula Abdul is an Arab." HAH, Santana's momentary look of "whut."
  • "Are you working on a time machine, too?" I have missed Brittany so much.
  • "Glee-otch" made me laugh, not gonna lie.
  • WHAT NO OH GOD DAMMIT SCHUE I HATE YOUR SMARMY FACE LEAVE EMMA ALONE.
  • "Guess who woke up right before I did?" OH GOD PLEASE TELL ME IT'S NOT YOUR PENIS. D:
  • ... those lunch boxes are adorable. I covet.
  • "I was sure that our Nationals trophy would grow during the summer." Why do I get the feeling Brit-Brit might have tried to water it?
  • "I'm planning on pushing you harder than you've ever been pushed." Santana looks legitimately concerned.
  • "I let you down last year." In so many ways.
  • HAH, his replacement won a Tony. Suck on it, Schue. Suck on that regret.
  • "Why is that T-Rex eating the Jew?" Not gonna lie, I had to pause the episode until I finished laughing.
  • No more Lauren? Goddammit. I enjoyed Lauren. I knew they'd likely get rid of her, but still. :(
  • Aaaand a final fat joke. Drink in remembrance, y'all.
  • "If there are purple pianos involved in this, I am on board." Kurt, your standards for joining projects are both low and bizarre.
  • I foresee this assignment causing a lot of detention for being late to class.
  • "This is the only dating combination that the glee club hasn't tried." It's true. Though only because the writers have ignored my request for Quinn/Rachel. FABERRY FOR LIFE, YO. Also, why would they feel the need to announce this to the guidance counselor?
  • "Me and my Hag" The pamphlets just keep getting better.
  • "Julliard doesn't have a musical theater department." KURT'S FACE. "Wait, what?" Oh, Kurt.
  • How did they not know this? I mean, the internet is a thing that exists and which they both are clearly familiar... And given how obsessively Rachel has planned every other detail of their futures, I find it hard to believe she hasn't at least done the preliminary research on Julliard.
  • "Competish"? Really? No, Emma. No.
  • "What about toast? Bread's already been baked. I don't get why you need to cook it again." Becky. <3
  • Mike what the hell is that dance.
  • NOOOO the piano. D:
  • Wow, that was pretty damn racist, even for Sue.
  • "I've been teaching here for forty-two years." "So awkward."
  • "You're quiet." "No, I'm being passive-aggressive." Hah.
  • "Then we can talk about making over Nancy Grace." HAH.
  • Kurt, be fair. The Warblers are basically the Blaine Anderson show. Losing him might crush their little spirits, and the world will be that much less dapper for it.
  • These two are insufferably precious.
  • I am loving Quinn's pink hair and new look. Looooving iiiiit. Though I always wonder what the hell kind of dress code these TV schools have that allows midriff-baring clothes. Ours barely allowed shirts without sleeves.
  • "My ironic tattoo of Ryan Seacrest." ... Okay, except maybe that part. Maybe.
  • Brit-Brit is totally checking out Quinn. Can't blame her.
  • "We all slept with Puckerman the same year..."
  • "And you're like a Jolly Rancher that fell in an ashtray." :(
  • So, her new friends are the 'trashy'/tough versions of Rachel, Mercedes, and Lauren, then. I can live with this. Also, Sheila looks really familiar. OMG, she was on Huge, as was the actress playing Lauren. Awesome. I loved her character, she was a shy, quiet nerd. Nice to see her doing something new.
  • 40 year-old skateboarder? D: Oh honey that is... that is not a good thing. You are 17. Not sure what Ohio's age of consent is, but still.
  • "I prefer the Bangles." I like you already, Sheila.
  • "Making it the zoo's bloodiest weekend in over six years." "That's what I call... Panda-monium." D:
  • Hey, it's Mrs. Figgins!
  • Will, stop slobbering on Emma and pay attention.
  • Lowest instance of substance abuse... except for that Very Special Alcohol episode.
  • "I'm sure everything in the bedroom's just completely normal." I love how Schue is so messed up that he actually starts unloading his personal problems to Sue, mid-rant.
  • "Feel free to wet yourselves with excitement."
  • "I can't work with her!" Poor Becky. :(
  • I kind of want to see Becky crush Santana. I kind of really, really do.
  • Oh god, her eye-crossing when she says "aroused."
  • I like that the gleeks are now sitting together at lunch. Last season there was still a lot of divisiveness along other extracurricular lines, with the jocks hanging out with football players and cheerleaders staying with other Cheerios.
  • "We have to survive lunch." This will end badly, and covered in food.
  • "It's simple mathematics!" "Which I stopped attending years ago." Hah.
  • Drummer kid looks so irritated by Finn's intrusion onto his drum-space.
  • Ew, Jacob, stop trying to film upskirts of Brittany, you ass.
  • Are we ever going to get to meet the musicians who are always being overshadowed by the Glee club despite playing very well in various unconventional locations?
  • I do miss the goth look, but I love Tina's blue dress.
  • Hah, the kids just ignoring them crack me up.
  • HAH, Mike smacking his ass.
  • And Becky leads the charge. Oh, Becky. What have you become. :(
  • "Oh god, no." Poor Puck sounds so terrified.
  • Caaaaalled iiiiit~
  • Smart move protecting yourself/your clothes with the tray, Kurt.
  • Hahah, Brit-Brit spinning on the mess.
  • Rachel's anguished cry cracks me the hell up. Honestly, Rachel, what were you expecting. The writers have decided the school will never accept the glee club, because if they do, the entire premise of the show dissolves. So no, no one is going to love glee based on your random outbursts of singing. Despite the fact that half the football team and the Cheerios co-captain are members of glee club.
  • "I have pepperoni in my bra." "Those are your nipples." HAH.
  • "I have self-diagnosed Aspergers, so I can pretty much say whatever I want." Oh, boy.
  • So last semester it was Sunshine, this time it's Sugar.
  • Finn is 100% okay with the ass-shaking.
  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
  • Rachel is simultaneously relieved that Sugar isn't a threat and sad that she's so awful.
  • "Her ear should get to park in my handicapped spot."
  • Sugar, do not ruffle Tinkles. No touchy the Tinkles. >:[
  • Ouch, Schue's wince when Rachel says "rotting in this insignificant town"! That's gotta cut deep, no matter how much he says he's over the Broadway dreams.
  • BEISTE! I have missed you so.
  • Does Emma's hair look kind of limp and lifeless to anyone else? Maybe it's just that it's longer and weighing itself down. Or maybe Schue's hair oil is seeping onto her pillow and weighing it down.
  • "Go all 'Deliverance' on her or something." ... For the first time, I am afraid of Beiste.
  • Oh, Emma, no. Don't do this. You can do so much better. Call Uncle Jesse. Please.
  • HAH, Munchkin-Kurt. <3
  • I want a collapsible broom. Also a pointy hat. It is nearly October; I can probably find both.
  • I love Rachel and Kurt as friends, and I love their duets. And I love how the show is very clearly setting them up for massive embarrassment at this mixer. Oh sweethearts you will crash and burn so bad.
  • "What is wrong with you?" In her defense, Santana, roller skates and batons are among the least bizarre things we've seen the Cheerios employ in their acts. Flame-spewing nipple bra, anyone? AHEM?
  • Will, your glitterbombing looks more like a flower girl sprinkling petals. This is terrible.
  • Well well, who is this dapper young gentleman?
  • EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HARRY FRIKKIN' POTTER HAS COME TO MCKINLEY <3
  • Kurt what the FUCK are you wearing, is that a double-breasted dickey what the hell IS that dear god. D:
  • "Resentment, which leads to anger, which could lead to a horrible nasty breakup" and also the Dark Side.
  • I will never say no to Darren Criss in tight pants, a bow tie, and silly glasses. Never. Especially if his ridiculous dancing is involved. Also, Kurt just standing there with his hands in his pockets while Blaine dances like a loon is adorable and hysterical to me.
  • Good christ, I do love Darren Criss and his ridiculous dancing.
  • How did they get the other Cheerios to dance backup? Maybe Santana ordered them to do it.
  • Santana, keep your mitts off Blaine. Karofsky is nowhere to be found and Blaine is out, so your work as a beard is done.
  • It seems like there's a lot more pantyshots of Cheerio asses this episode than I remember from previous seasons. Maybe I'd just forgotten?
  • Ahhh, it was all an elaborate ruse to destroy the piano.
  • Was Quinn in on it, or was Santana assuming no one would notice her lighting a match and throwing it at the piano or something?
  • Let's have a moment of silence for the now extra-crispy purple piano. And be grateful that either no one was playing it during the preceding number (which is odd), or that they moved before it was doused in lighter fluid.
  • "My future husband, Robert Pattinson," HAHAHAHA.
  • Harmony manages to work a lot of menace into the word "enjoy."
  • "OH MY GOD" "JUST BREATHE AND SMILE."
  • It's a Kurt and Rachel convention and I love it. Pretty sure the new kids are all wearing actual clothes from Kurt and Rachel's wardrobes. That black and white dress is darling, and I spy a guy in a kilt!
  • Awwww, poor babies. They needed this wake-up call, but still.
  • This may be the first car conversation in this series without a thunderstorm.
  • "We have to move to another town and erase our identities and resign ourselves to a sad life of community theatre." I like how Kurt gets the Vagina Monologues in this arrangement.
  • Theeeere's the rain. Right on cue. Please let them get out of the car and it turns out they're parked by a sprinkler. Please. Because that water doesn't look like rain, it looks like someone turned a hose on the car.
  • Awwwwww, their friendship is so cute. I wuv it.
  • Pinky-swear into jazz hands is the gay high-five. HAH.
  • Hey, Will and Emma switched sides of the bed. Do normal couples do this? I never did. My side was my side, and no matter how convoluted pre-sleep fun times might be, when it was time for sleeping, I slept on my side and would defend its borders with cold feet and vicious tickling. Oh god I have been single for so long. *sob*
  • I love Emma's wee little turtle pin.
  • So now Will will save the glee club not because it is the right thing to do, but because it might get him laid. Truly, he is a shining example of educational leadership.
  • Blaine, your little speech is kind of dumb.
  • Wow, cutting Santana out of the club? I'm... somewhere between impressed and saddened. On the one hand, it's been pretty clear that glee is all Santana has in terms of friends, on the other, Santana has been a pretty awful bully to nearly everyone in the club.
  • "West Side Story." "Is that the one with the cats?" Hee.
  • Is Tina's new function providing the Group-Affirming Words of Wisdom?
  • "As always, you and I are on the exact same page." Really? I don't think that's usually the case, actually.
  • Rachel's skirt is longer than all the skirts she wore in Season 1, combined. Not sure what that's about.
  • And so, just as in the pilot episode, Quinn watches the performance from the wings. Come back, Quinn. Come baaaack. :(
  • HAHAHA, the group derp-face in the middle of the number. Oh, show. You know what I love.
  • I would very much like to know where Karofsky is. I'm assuming the Bullywhips are no longer functioning, but having two openly gay guys--both of whom know he's gay--at McKinley can't be resting easy on him.
  • Also I don't think I've made it clear how sad I am that Sam is gone. He was a genuinely likeable character, despite his flaws, in a show that occasionally leans a little too much towards making everyone kind of awful. I'm hoping he'll come back at some point for a guest spot. Maybe he'll be in a rival glee club at Sectionals or Nationals. That would be cool.
  • Also, I hope we see the Warblers again at some point. I like 'em. Even if their jackets are kind of ugly. I just think the red piping on navy blazers looks bad, okay? IT DOES.
  • I have many other questions as well. Is Artie still on the football team? Who else among the cast is graduating this year? Is the show EVER going to address any of the potential (and, given her behavior since, incredibly fucking likely) emotional fallout for Quinn re: giving up her child? Why has Puck been so quiet this episode? Is Tina going to get to sing something this season? SO MANY QUESTIONS, SHOW. SO MANY.

    This entry was originally posted at http://jenni-the-odd.dreamwidth.org/10052.html. You can comment here or there; it matters only that you comment PLEASE I NEED THE ATTENTION OH GOD PLEASE LOVE ME *SOB*.
  • Tags: glee
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