The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain
jenni_the_odd

Glee-fer Three-fer. Shut up it's late and I'm tired.

Well, Glee realized they needed a more stupid episode title, so here's... Sigh. Saturday Night Glee-ver.

  • Who hasn't spontaneously burst out in disco in the middle of class, really?
  • This high school is really lax on dress code. None of the schools I know of let you wear hats.
  • Now, Darren Criss is no slouch on the dance floor, but putting him between Heather Morris and Harry Shum Jr. is just cruel.
  • Well, that's a terrifying image.
  • "DISCO SUCKS." Hee.
  • Scale model glee club diorama.
  • "Do you even know how to use a calculator?" Valid question.
  • I notice no one has any assumptions or plans for Brittany. Poor Brit-Brit.
  • "Don't even care how it happens, I just want everyone to know my name." Santana's gonna marry a Kardashian.
  • "... In that it seemed to solve everyone's problem for about five minutes."
  • She's right, these kids can be bribed.
  • JESSE ST. JAMES IS BACK.
  • Oh god, I was dreading this day. The day Glee had a trans or otherwise genderqueer character. I wonder how the show is going to mangle this.
  • "We do not support disco in this room." Hee.
  • "OhmygodIneedthatsuit!" Hee.
  • Show, we've been over this, Matthew Morrison's falsetto is not a selling point.
  • I'd say Sam needs to drop the shedding-of-clothes every time he dances, but we all know I'm gong to support Chord Overstreet being as naked as possible at every opportunity.
  • Oh, Finn, honey.
  • "Finn Hudson!" "Whut."
  • I still hate this idea that by the time you graduate high school you're supposed to know what you want to do with your life. High school was ten years ago and I still don't know.
  • Mercedes' dress is so cute! Looks amazing on her, too.
  • Okay, calm down, Sam.
  • Mercedes has a point, which is, again, one of the reasons I say they are all too young/immature to get married or plan their entire lives. They are all big--or medium--fish in a very, very, VERY tiny pond. Sure, these kids are played by Broadway alums and very talented actors who have already, to some degree, 'made it' in Hollywood, but your average high schooler, no matter how talented, is highly unlikely to become a star.
  • Puck you are so in love with Finn it is precious.
  • Hey, that's my shoe size. Give me those shoes. Give them to me.
  • This is the legacy of disco. Jumpsuits. *shudder*
  • Way to read into it, Will.
  • Santana you shut your mouth Brad would never. D:
  • Finn, this is going to be your life. Every time you have an argument, or a date, or a conversation, it's going to end in song. Can you really put up with that? Because I love musicals, but goddamn that would get annoying.
  • I would probably do the same thing Finn just did, in high school
  • They made a sex tape? Didn't Puck and Lauren already go over why this is a bad idea? Or, wait, Brit-Brit and Santana are probably of age now.
  • Also Artie said they "made out", so I'm guessing the "sex tape" isn't actually of sex?
  • ... I want the video of Lord Tubbington. And also a little bit the sex tape, not gonna lie. But mostly Lord Tubbington. And when did Brittany learn to operate a computer like that? A few episodes ago she couldn't burn a mix CD.
  • "Maybe the reason I don't know what to do with my life is because I'm not qualified to do anything." WELCOME TO MY LIFE, FINN.
  • Well, you can do anything you want to, within the boundaries of reason and ability. For example, I have not yet acquired the power of flight. Yet.
  • "I've seen how you keep your car, so you can totally be on Hoarders."
  • "It tastes just like a chicken testicle." Wait, what?
  • Is Fear Factor even still on the air? That feels like a line that would have been relevant in the late 90s/early 2000s when the show was actually big.
  • Well, Unique's legs look great, so fuck the haters.
  • She looks awesome! And is killing that song.
  • Shut up and die in a fire, Jesse.
  • Okay, falsetto isn't working so well for Cory Monteith, either.
  • "No more songs, Sam." Hahahaha.
  • No, 485 views, not comments.
  • Writers, if you think ANY youtube video would have only one negative response, you've clearly never been to the magical land we know as the Internet.
  • Is there gonna be a spinoff series where Sam and Mercedes move to LA, and Puck is their wacky neighbor? Because I would watch that.
  • "I can show you the MRI."
  • "I think Cheney still has a copy." ...
  • Wait, how did Sue get that letter? Is this a common thing with athletic scholarships, for them to send it to the coach instead of the actual kid in question (or their parents)?
  • Aww.
  • "Strut." Oh lord.
  • Becky must have been very busy making all these suits. And how did she get everyone's measurements? Truly, Sue's network of eyes and ears is thorough and terrifying.
  • Well, the handling of the trans character could have been so, so much worse. Which, with this show, is really the best you can hope for most of the time.

    Next up, the Whitney Houston Tribute Episode, Dance With Somebody.

  • Schue seems someone surprised and/or confused by the sudden singing. Does... he not know the kids do this all the time? How can he not notice? Worst. Teacher. Ever.
  • The group of Whitney diva-mourners wandering through the school is at once sweet and utterly ridiculous. Either way, I am a fan.
  • Also liking the slightly slower, a capella version of this song.
  • Aww, the empty spotlight. :(
  • "Princess Di: Why I Can't Stop Crying."
  • I love how Glee is making the same point that kobold made in Something Positive with Scotty's obsession over Kurt Cobain. Randy did it better, surprising no one.
  • "I was saying goodbye to my teachers, my friend." Friend? Just one? Oh, Emma, honey.
  • Really, you question honoring Whitney Houston, but not Michael Jackson? Or, hell, Britney Spears? Really. Of all the inappropriate and frankly unsettling song/artist choices these characters have made, this is the one you question.
  • Be more condescending, Schue. I bet you can if you try really, reeeally hard.
  • I love that the musical store is called "Betwen the Sheets."
  • Oh, tiny elf-man whose name I have already forgotten (I am going to call you Skippy), you are so happy and bouncy and a little twitchy. You're like a human Jack Russell Terrier.
  • I can't tell if Kurt is into Skippy or just shocked there's another gay kid in Lima.
  • KURT DON'T DO IT. NO WRITERS GODDAMMIT NO. DON'T YOU BREAK BLAINE'S TINY, ADORABLE, BOW-TIED HEART.
  • Not sure Heather Morris' voice is good enough to handle this song, but her dancing sure as hell is.
  • Hahaha, just grab Teen Jesus. He is so confused.
  • Hey, they actually changed the lyrics from "his" to "her and "man" to "woman." Glee usually doesn't do that. But I approve.
  • Also Naya Rivera and Heather Morris look adorable.
  • "Quinn, you're still dancing in my dreams. And you can fly, and breathe fire." HAH. I bet Brittany has the best dreams.
  • Are Quinn and Teen Jesus gonna get together? That'd be cute. They would be the prettiest couple.
  • "If this is another Rihanna song in the pool, I have to take pictures this time." Heehee
  • Oh, that's a clever card-thing...
  • Will, moving the wedding up is kind of a dick move, especially since you're springing it on Emma very suddenly. You know, Emma. The woman you're going to marry. Whose feelings and needs you are supposed to consider, like, at all.
  • Whose locker is the Whitney shrine? I thought it was Mercedes' but I guess it's Kurt's?
  • "Usually they're puns about my boobs, but I still appreciate the effort." HAH.
  • "A fabulous old married couple." The best kind.
  • "You schedule makeout sessions?"
  • Tina what is that dress.
  • Aw, look at these two, all flirty and flustered.
  • Hahaha, Rachel's "OH, WELL THEN" expression.
  • Okay, Skippy's cheesy pick-up lines are kind of hilarious. Then again, I have a huge weak spot for horrific puns.
  • Brittany thinks Joe is a girl. In fairness, he is really pretty.
  • "Who would be." ... *raises hand*
  • "At the reception, I will be rapping." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • They're going to wind up getting married in the school auditorium, aren't they. Probably in the middle of the graduation ceremony, courtesy of Will's complete lack of BOUNDARIES.
  • Will, let me guess, you are being such a dick because you are dealing with these kids leaving, since you don't actually have grown-up friends, and that means all the teenagers you hang out with are going away.
  • "You mean like, in your pants feelings."
  • This sounds weird coming from Sam, given that he was the one giving Quinn a promise ring and Quinn made it super-clear when they were together that she didn't want to rush into anything, after the whole pregnancy thing.
  • Oh Blaine. He has the saddest eyes. Oh, sweetie.
  • "Even Rachel wanted to make out with you." I want to make out with him. Seriously. Darren Criss. Call me.
  • Everyone is now giving Kurt the side-eye. EVEN SCHUE. As they sing back-up. This is kind of hilarious.
  • I hope they don't break up. Or if they do, I hope they keep Darren Criss on (he's a juinor, after all) for next season. Mike and Sam are graduating, and I needs my male eye-candy.
  • Also it's become pretty clear that if they do break up, Blaine is keeping all the friends. Ouch.
  • Again, Tina, what the hell are you wearing. Now it's clashing patterns in bright colors which... I kind of like, actually. I never claimed to have good fashion sense, y'all.
  • If there were a mic to drop as he walked off, Blaine would have dropped it. Like a boss.
  • "Say something irritating." Hee. The slightly antagonistic friendship between Santana and Rachel is super-adorable and I love it, especially when the writers don't make Santana over-the-top mean.
  • Aww. Cute.
  • I covet that sparkly skull that's holding Kurt's prom queen tiara.
  • "You've seen Hoarders. This is how it starts." My mom and I have had this same conversation. She just found some papers of mine from kindergarten. For the record? I am twenty-seven years old. Kindergarten. Not even important papers.
  • Starsky and gay Hutch.
  • "I was nine. Who knew paella was going to be so complicated?" Hah! Oh, Tiny Kurt.
  • So, Kurt is definitely going to New York? I thought the NYADA scout hadn't been to Lima yet. Or did they decide to not show it? That doesn't seem like something they would do.
  • Oh, papa Hummel. I love you. Best dad.
  • Hahahahaha, now everyone's looking at Blaine.
  • Been a while since they gave Kurt a solo. I've missed his voice.
  • I think my middle school choir sang this song at a concert. Always thought it was a weird choice, since we didn't do a lot of pop. I liked it, though.
  • Chris Colfer sings it better than we probably did, too. Then again we were the middle choir full of 7th and 8th graders who either didn't care or weren't good enough to make it into the top choir, so.
  • "Why does mine say '"Drink 'til she's cute?"" Because you made out with Rachel. That is what I choose to believe.
  • Broments.
  • And you can see Mike trying to figure out if Puck ever tried to seduce Tina.
  • "I love you guys." Awwww.
  • "I'm a little confused as to what we're doing here." As are we all. Emma's a relationship counselor, now?
  • "Are you qualified for that?" "Not really. Or at all."
  • "Say You're Sorry With a Song."
  • Okay, Kurt, the snapping at waitstaff is a dick move.
  • "Please stop slipping bronzer into my moisturizer." HAHA TAN HANDS.
  • Oh, Blaine. :(
  • Seriously, can we put a moratorium on the phrase "the love of my life" until you have reached middle age and it's at least statistically more likely to be accurate?
  • Yeah, Kurt, are you aware of how much plane tickets to New York from Lima every week would cost?
  • Not sure champagne on a Tuesday counts as Hunter S. Thompson territory, but I guess to Emma...
  • Will, seriously, your wife-to-be cloroxes her grapes. You can't seriously think she'd want to GO to a campground, much less get married there.
  • Emma's broom budget must be pretty big. :(
  • Aaaand we return to Will's unhealthy attachment to his students.
  • All of Emma's useful or at all good advice is given far outside her office. And she's the one with tenure.
  • Dude, I want to get married on the moon. Someone marry me on the moon. Oooh, what about an engagement ring with a moon rock instead of a diamond? That'd be kickass. I bet that's the new super-expensive thing in 10 years, instead of diamonds or other gemstones it's rocks from the outer reaches of space. The future is awesome.
  • Gotta admit, this is some sexy therapy.
  • Aaaaand Teen Jesus agrees!
  • "best-smelling"
  • Because of course a non-mandatory practice a week or two before Nationals is a great plan. Well done, Schue!
  • Glee has done a very good job of capturing that nostalgia-riddled "this is ending soon, let's cherish it" energy that tends to be prevalent at times like this. It's probably helped by the fact that for the actors, it really is an ending--some have been signed on for Season 4, but many will likely be leaving.
  • Nice return to the "authority figure standing in the shadows watching the glee club kids sing in the auditorium" shot from the first episode.

    And finally for this update, Choke.

  • Oh, Beiste is back this ep? Cool.
  • "Presidential." Hahaha.
  • Intense Rachel is Intense and a little frightening. Glad to see we're returning to this character's roots.
  • Is European Geography a thing? I do not remember that class in high school.
  • Goddammit, Puck, stop sleeping with teachers.
  • Probing booths? D:
  • Hahaha, domestic violence is hilarious!
  • Little Oprah?
  • Will, you're surprised about this? I mean, they are teenagers and they have a proven record of being kind of awful on a regular basis.
  • Tina does not look like she is having fun.
  • Kurt, what is this choreography.
  • "What if I did it in the nude?" That might get awkward.
  • "Or maybe I just need more candles." "Oh, god no." HAHAHA
  • RUN AWAY, TEACHER LADY.
  • Hey, where are the Skanks? This seems like a song they might enjoy. I miss them.
  • Puck you have scared Teen Jesus... Well done.
  • Aaaawkwaaaard.
  • "America's #1 destination for Cheap, Sappy Moralizing."
  • Sugar's got a point, which is sad.
  • Blaine is the gel guru.
  • How many days has Puck been gone? Aren't there truancy laws in Lima?
  • Is Kurt wearing a metal bow tie? I love it.
  • "Tell me Liza's okay." Hee.
  • I am... never going to complain about these costumes. Ever. Except that Mercedes isn't in lingerie too. I may complain about that a little.
  • The song choice seems to be a bit misguided, though.
  • Nor will I complain about Harry Shum Jr. in a tank top and suspenders.
  • Oh, Beiste. :(
  • Writers, of all the characters. You had to choose Beiste. Because of course she doesn't get a happy relationship.
  • I think the whole "she doesn't think anyone else would want her" angle would be bit more effective if it were done with an actress the writers hadn't gone out of their way to emphasize was undesirable.
  • Good on Sue, at least, for offering help. Though the writers have to get in a fat/big joke, because remember, people, Beiste is undesirable! Can't emphasize that enough. I mean, yeah, part of the reason she's staying is that she thinks no one else will love her, but god knows we can't ever have anyone even hint that that might not be the case. She'll just have to accept a life of loneliness. Non-conventionally attractive people don't deserve love, everyone knows that.
  • Ow, that last bit may have sprained my sarcasm.
  • Once more the group of guys doesn't include Kurt, because as we all know, Kurt is a ~lady~.
  • "You're going to be the bait." Oh, dear.
  • I'd like to give the show the benefit of the doubt and say Kurt wasn't involved because he was prepping for the NYADA audition, but past episodes don't bear that explanation out, so.
  • Hey, it's Whoopi.
  • Wait, so Kurt had the girls waiting in the sidelines just in case? Hah.
  • He apparently also had the costume at the ready...
  • Tinkles just wants him to stop touching the piano.
  • The girls are in old dresses from a previous competition, aren't they? If not, they're very similar.
  • This song does suit Kurt much better.
  • Aww, Kurt's excited scamper offstage.
  • Ohhhhh, noooooooo.
  • Oh, wow. Interesting move, writers.
  • And this is what it looks like when dreams die. Poor Rachel.
  • The turning off the lights was an unnecessary insult, really.
  • How are they allowed to be in the school at 3AM?
  • Her dads are sitting shiva. Of course.
  • Really, show? HAHAHAHA
  • Oh god what is that accent Puck.
  • So this is why they chose European geography. Oh, writers. You have too much fun with this sometimes.
  • Sadly, this sort of ridiculousness is fairly accurate for study sessions that go this long. God knows I tend to experience some sort of learning psychosis by around 2 AM.
  • "What rhymes with 'Pre-Industrial European Deforestation'?" Haha.
  • On the one hand, this is an issue that it would be wonderful for educators to address at some point, at all, since domestic violence and abusive relationships among teenagers isn't that uncommon and is almost never talked about. On the other, I don't think Beiste talking about her personal life like this with the kids is necessarily appropriate, at least, not while it's happening. This show has a real problem with the whole idea of boundaries, especially where students and teachers are concerned, so I'm not exactly surprised, but I think they could have handled it so much better. And, again, goddammit, I wish they'd just let Beiste be happy.
  • "This is the easiest test ever! [...] Wait, that's not in the song." Hahaha
  • "Even you, Blaine." "Thanks?" Once again, gay men aren't really men, and Kurt is a lady.
  • Is Sugar not singing? It looks like she's just sitting there while the other girls sing. That... makes sense, I guess.
  • Oh, Shannon. This is fairly common; so many domestic violence survivors return to their abusers again and again. And this character is primed for it, everyone who interacts with her tells her in some way she's unattractive and undesirable; it's not at all surprising she believes it, too.
  • Oh, Rachel. Again, having a backup plan? Not a bad idea. Applying to just one school is... well, quite frankly, it's idiotic, especially when you know that one school is highly competitive.

    This entry was originally posted at http://jenni-the-odd.dreamwidth.org/17400.html. You can comment here or there; it matters only that you comment PLEASE I NEED THE ATTENTION OH GOD PLEASE LOVE ME *SOB*.
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