The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain

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So You Want To Date Jenni... (Or: Why Michael Will Never Love Me *snicker*)

shamelessly stolen from: wogs :D

Reasons why I shall be eternally single/Why I frighten Michael/Things to know if you're stupid enough to get involved with me

- My moods are likely to change from hour to hour. Be warned.

- My online comic/comic book/manga obsession is to be marveled at, not ridiculed. NEVER ridiculed. Else I draw you in the background of a comic, being poked by pointy things.

- I'm not bright. Big words confuse me. But I make up religions and write out histories of nations and worlds that exist only in my brain - and I cannot pronnounce most of their names. No, I don't understand it, either. e.O

- I am a selfish, selfish bitch. Yes, you might have had the most horrible day in the world. But you know what? I had a worse one. Just trust me, mine was worse. And once you quit your whining, I shall make you suffer as I have suffered

- My computer never has "software problems". It is "in a pissy mood" and needs to be bitchslapped. It worked once; it WILL work again. Really.

- Yes, chances are, I think you look very cute in a collar. Just wear it every once and a while and it will earn you a very happy Jenni. And you will like it when I'm happy. I promise.

- I am extremely insecure. Take the self-esteem of the average anorexic, neurotic, depressed 14 year-old girl. Now divide by twenty. That is about equal to mine. I will make self-depreciating comments. It is your job to disagree with me. Even when I'm right. Which will be most of the time (what did I tell you?)

- Makeup? Rarely. Only if I feel like it. And it doesn't help anyway, so what you see is what you get. I'm sorry. DEAL WITH IT.

- You do not knock my fishnet fetish. In fact, if you want to be rewarded, you will steal and wear my fishnet shirt-thing because odds are, I'll think you look great in it.

- I get cold very easily. Hence my large jackets. If you want me to stop complaining about being cold when it's 75 degrees outside (that is a Houston winter, folks. I wish I was kidding), join me in the jacket and warm me up. Nyah. :p

- My hair - no, I'm not gonna cut it because you happen to think girls with short hair are cute. If you want a 'cute' girl, I fear you're with the wrong person. And I'm not gonna dye it either. It's naturally every damned hair color possible, and I'm gonna leave it to its own evil devices.

- There will be days when I simply do not want human contact. I will inform you when this happens. In the event of an Anti-Social day, your best option is to leave me alone for two hours, then check back. Usually two hours of silence or so calms me down.

- When I am very, very upset, and I say "go away", I do not mean for you to go away. I mean for you to give me a hug and a kiss and make me feel better. I just want everyone else to go away.

- on days when I am both anti-social and very, very upset... take your pick of what to do, because neither route will make me overly happy. Sorry.

- I have, quite possibly, one of the dirtiest minds in existance. Get used to that, and do so quickly, lest I tie you up and make you get used to it...

- Yes, I sing. Loudly. And probably out of tune - I can't tell, my ear is THAT bad. And yes, I'll sing with anything, from punk to angry chick music, to pop, to techno, to all of the above in languages I don't even know. If you do not like my singing or my music, invest in earplugs, because sometimes I don't even realize I'm singing.

- you do NOT mess with my art crap. And if you even THINK about touching anything I've drawn with a pencil, pen, paintbrush, or anything else, you die. Simple as that. (I once had someone "show" me what they thought I should do on a picture of mine. It took every ounce of strength in my body not to tear their fingernails off one by one...)

- Yes, I talk to walls, cats, and people who are not there. Feel free to join in on these conversations.

- I can be the most clingy, overly-affectionate-in-public sort of person on earth when the fancy strikes me. You have been warned.

- I can be the most honest and loyal person on the face of the planet. (lessee, honest, loyal, loving... why date me, just get a puppy!) This means that if you do something that bothers me, I will confront you about it head-on in a manner that tends to unnerve some people. I can stare you down until you answer. Don't even attempt to fight my Look of Doom; I can stare down a goldfish - and they don't blink. e_e This also means that a lack of loyalty on your part results in an assload of indignation and depression on mine.

- I bite at random. (I think I unnerved David S. when I just leaned over and bit his shoulder out of nowhere at a game...) So if you enjoy being bitten, be happy. If you don't, prepare to be bruised. :)= <-- look, fangs! ^_^

Um, that's all I can think of. I'm sure there are more.

Now that I've frightened EVERYONE away.... e.O;;

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