The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain
jenni_the_odd

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*sigh* (again. I'm not very creative)

Nicole and I toyed with the idea of asking Michael to go see "From Hell" with us. But in the end I just sort of lay on my bed and she wandered around and talked on the phone.
Note to self - see if it's possible to go check out "Blood: the Last Vampire" thing with Kelsey. Mmm, anime .

*sigh* I thought a lot as I lay there on my bed, not really asleep, not really awake. I kept thinking of Emily's face when she was yelling, and Michael's words when he was upset. I remembered when Emily pointed her finger at me and accused this whole mess of being my fault. Some part of my mind figured that she didn't mean it, because she, like most people, can be extremely irrational when pissed off. But a part of me almost hoped she'd stay with that idea. I half-wished she and Michael would decide this whole mess is somehow my fault, and just hate me forever and stop fighting and being upset. I really hate it when the people around me are upset. Maybe that's why I always manage to make them laugh. It's one of the few things I'm good for - I can almost always make someone who is upset chuckle. But I can't really do that anymore. Maybe I'd make a better scapegoat.
This is really getting to me. It's confusing as hell - hearing their different sides of the story is like hearing two different stories; as if they're talking about different people in a different world - and I want to help them but the more I hear, the more it seems like there's absolutely no way to make things all right; because no one knows what the hell "all right" would be. *sigh*

I just realized something... i just took somewhere around the neighborhood of six or so painkillers with some coffee. Hmm. eh. 's just advil. that stuff never does anything anyway...
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